Memorization

A couple weeks ago I decided to memorize Psalm 27. I've loved that particular Psalm for a lot of years, but never taken the time to commit it to memory. It was a random idea, but memorization is never a bad idea, so I went for it.

It was only a day after deciding to do that, and 5 verses into the chapter, that I was tired and overwhelmed, and started venting at God. I usually get through a vent and feel exceptionally wicked, and have a three or four day guilt-trip, but this time it was different.

I hadn't gotten more than a couple sentences before my Beloved said "Who is your light and your salvation?"
"Well, You are"
"Who is the Strength of your life?"
"That would also be You."
"Joanna, why are you sad? Am I not also your Joy?"
"Yes Lord, You are, but there's so much that isn't quite right."
"Joanna, what is your desire?"
"I have lots of desires Lord, which one do You mean?"
"Joanna, what is the one desire that I want you to have?"
"Well, Lord, I guess to 'Behold Your beauty', but what does that have to do with this?"
"Joanna, behold My beauty."

For a few minutes I just thought and prayed about it, but no matter how many times I asked "what do you mean?" the answer came back "behold My beauty."

I'm thick-skulled. Sometimes I'm so thick-skulled that I can be told the same thing over and over and over and over and over...and not get what I'm supposed to do.

This time it took that long. I wanted to be venting, I wanted to be wallowing, but no matter what I did I couldn't get away from the words "Behold My beauty." Then, finally, it hit me. Quit asking why, and just obey.

Behold the beauty of the Lord. The Lord is God. He is Light, He is Salvation, He is Strength. Looking at everything He is, I began to see everything He does. All my troubles and worries started melting away and disappearing because God is big enough to conquer them all.

So, instead of a guilt-trip being piled on top of everything that was already wrong, God showed me a small bit of who He was, and by going to the truth of the scripture I was able to allow the Strength of the Lord to defeat the worries and cares that were overwhelming me and be set free.

And all because I started memorizing that one little chapter....

Isn't He just beautiful?


-Joanna Renae